Post by cryptkeeper2529 on Sept 10, 2008 16:13:50 GMT -5
Phantasm III, for me, if a very frusterating film. Yes it has some good moments and yes it's amusing and yes "C'mon, you ever try vanilla?" is one of the greatest lines ever, but in terms of story, especialy the beginning, I can't help but wonder "What if?", specifficly in the beginning, which was retcon central. The intro was cool in a lot of ways, but the treatment of Liz, the basis for Phantasm II practicly, killed a lot of the film for me. She shouldn't have died, but if she had to, it should have been in a more powerful fashon ranter than "oh look, my soul mates' dead, hey look my dead brother who just now shows up!" Because I have no life, I recreated the intro sequence of the film, and I would like to know what you guys think of it:
---Phantasm III: Intro rewrite Rewrite Idea
Liz and Mike are thrown from the hearse (which doesen't explode) and roll down a grass hill with great force (Reggie is still lying on the side of the road where he was left in Phantasm II). The hearse rolls down a hill further up. Mike (lying face down and groggy) slowly pushes himself up and begins to notice the dwarves appearing from the woods. He gets up and glares at the dwarves appearing and beginning to surround him ("Oh sh!t..."). He takes out his revolver and shoots one or three of them. He bends down on hiss knee, still facing the dwarves, and puts his arm out to help Liz up, only to turn and see that she is not moving. He immidiately turns to her and gets close, becoming very emotional and paranoid. He turns her over and she is breathing hard and clearly dying; Mike looks and sees that her head was smashed into a rock when she was thrown from the hearse. He begins to cry a little ("No, please...no, you can't die. Not after what I've gone through to find you."). Liz looks and Mike and says something like ("I love you, remember that" or "Get him for me, Mike"). Mike kisses her, and Liz dies during the embrace. He puts his head down, grieving over her, and The Tall Man shows up. ("Such a shame, oh what I had planned for her. But then again, I still have you, boy") Mike jumps up and screams ("You son of a pregnant dog!!!") (Tall Man: "Don't worry, I promise you that you will see her again.") The dwarves collect her body and bring it to him. He looks at the would on her head and looks back over at Mike (Phantasm IV foreshadowing). ("Come boy, I have such sights to show you.") (Mike: "If you want to take me, I assure you it will be anything but alive") Mike takes out a granade (same as in the real Phantasm 3) (Tall Man: "I don't want you in pieces")(Mike: "Well thats the only way your getting me") (Tall Man: "..Then I wait.") The Tall Man and his dwarves begin to leave (Mike: "I promise you that one way or another I will kill you once and for all") The Tall Man stops and turns his head ("We'll see") and continues to leave. Mike puts the granade and revolver away and stands alone and tries dry his tears. Liz's last words replay in his mind, as well as a quote from Reggie regarding stopping The Tall Man. ("Reg! Oh *beep*, Reg!") Mike runs down the street where he sees Reggie lying where he was left, scarred and bloodied from Alchemy's assult. Mike goes to check him ("Please Reg, not you too.") and to his relief he is alive and partly conceous. He tries to pick Reggie up and the two limp down the street and find the hearse, abandoned down the hill in dented but useable condition. While suspicious, they had no choice so they take it and drive to the nearest hospital, where Reggie is treated and Mike sleeps in the waiting room.
A few days to a week later, Mike goes to Reggie, fully alert and conceous (with a few faint scars on his face), in the hospital bed. He begins to get up, fully dressed. (Reggie: Liz is dead, isn't she?) Mike nods. (Reggie: Oh Mike, I'm so sorry. I promice you, that we WILL get him one way or another.) (Mike: He's after me, Reg. I don't know why, but he wants me for something.) (Reggie: What?) A nurse enters the room, without saying a word. (Mike: The other night, he would have taken me had I not threatened my own life. He took Liz's corpse, citing that he 'still had me'.) The nurse is doing something at a table facing the wall. (Reg: Mike, that dosen't make sense. The other night, The Tall Man was going out of his way to kill you) (Mike: I don't know either, but he's coming for me and I know as a fact that he is not going to stop until he has me.) (Reggie: I don't doubt that, you are alive after all, but come on. Do you really think he's looking for you at this very moment? What could possibly make you think that?) At that moment the nurse turns around, revealed to be zombified/possessed, with a giant syrange filled with something in her hand. She wrestles with Mike, who is trying to avoid the syrange. Reggie jumps to his feet and belts the thing with something multiple times. The head begins to twitch and bleed, filling Reggie's mouth with yellow goo, and a silver sphere bursts out and floats around. A small part opens up, revealing a mechanical eye resembling a real eye somewhat, eyes Mike and Reggie, and then crashes through the window and leaves. Mike turns and blankly stairs at Reggie. (Reggie: All right, fine. Lets just go. The two leave the hospital. The Tall Man is seen sitting in a gothicly lit mosolium, holding a sphere. The sphere is playing back what had occured in the hospital. He knows where they are.
This is not perfected really, and the part at the hospitall was just from off the top of my head to synch it in with the actual movie. Lemme know what you guys think! ;D
---Phantasm III: Intro rewrite Rewrite Idea
Liz and Mike are thrown from the hearse (which doesen't explode) and roll down a grass hill with great force (Reggie is still lying on the side of the road where he was left in Phantasm II). The hearse rolls down a hill further up. Mike (lying face down and groggy) slowly pushes himself up and begins to notice the dwarves appearing from the woods. He gets up and glares at the dwarves appearing and beginning to surround him ("Oh sh!t..."). He takes out his revolver and shoots one or three of them. He bends down on hiss knee, still facing the dwarves, and puts his arm out to help Liz up, only to turn and see that she is not moving. He immidiately turns to her and gets close, becoming very emotional and paranoid. He turns her over and she is breathing hard and clearly dying; Mike looks and sees that her head was smashed into a rock when she was thrown from the hearse. He begins to cry a little ("No, please...no, you can't die. Not after what I've gone through to find you."). Liz looks and Mike and says something like ("I love you, remember that" or "Get him for me, Mike"). Mike kisses her, and Liz dies during the embrace. He puts his head down, grieving over her, and The Tall Man shows up. ("Such a shame, oh what I had planned for her. But then again, I still have you, boy") Mike jumps up and screams ("You son of a pregnant dog!!!") (Tall Man: "Don't worry, I promise you that you will see her again.") The dwarves collect her body and bring it to him. He looks at the would on her head and looks back over at Mike (Phantasm IV foreshadowing). ("Come boy, I have such sights to show you.") (Mike: "If you want to take me, I assure you it will be anything but alive") Mike takes out a granade (same as in the real Phantasm 3) (Tall Man: "I don't want you in pieces")(Mike: "Well thats the only way your getting me") (Tall Man: "..Then I wait.") The Tall Man and his dwarves begin to leave (Mike: "I promise you that one way or another I will kill you once and for all") The Tall Man stops and turns his head ("We'll see") and continues to leave. Mike puts the granade and revolver away and stands alone and tries dry his tears. Liz's last words replay in his mind, as well as a quote from Reggie regarding stopping The Tall Man. ("Reg! Oh *beep*, Reg!") Mike runs down the street where he sees Reggie lying where he was left, scarred and bloodied from Alchemy's assult. Mike goes to check him ("Please Reg, not you too.") and to his relief he is alive and partly conceous. He tries to pick Reggie up and the two limp down the street and find the hearse, abandoned down the hill in dented but useable condition. While suspicious, they had no choice so they take it and drive to the nearest hospital, where Reggie is treated and Mike sleeps in the waiting room.
A few days to a week later, Mike goes to Reggie, fully alert and conceous (with a few faint scars on his face), in the hospital bed. He begins to get up, fully dressed. (Reggie: Liz is dead, isn't she?) Mike nods. (Reggie: Oh Mike, I'm so sorry. I promice you, that we WILL get him one way or another.) (Mike: He's after me, Reg. I don't know why, but he wants me for something.) (Reggie: What?) A nurse enters the room, without saying a word. (Mike: The other night, he would have taken me had I not threatened my own life. He took Liz's corpse, citing that he 'still had me'.) The nurse is doing something at a table facing the wall. (Reg: Mike, that dosen't make sense. The other night, The Tall Man was going out of his way to kill you) (Mike: I don't know either, but he's coming for me and I know as a fact that he is not going to stop until he has me.) (Reggie: I don't doubt that, you are alive after all, but come on. Do you really think he's looking for you at this very moment? What could possibly make you think that?) At that moment the nurse turns around, revealed to be zombified/possessed, with a giant syrange filled with something in her hand. She wrestles with Mike, who is trying to avoid the syrange. Reggie jumps to his feet and belts the thing with something multiple times. The head begins to twitch and bleed, filling Reggie's mouth with yellow goo, and a silver sphere bursts out and floats around. A small part opens up, revealing a mechanical eye resembling a real eye somewhat, eyes Mike and Reggie, and then crashes through the window and leaves. Mike turns and blankly stairs at Reggie. (Reggie: All right, fine. Lets just go. The two leave the hospital. The Tall Man is seen sitting in a gothicly lit mosolium, holding a sphere. The sphere is playing back what had occured in the hospital. He knows where they are.
This is not perfected really, and the part at the hospitall was just from off the top of my head to synch it in with the actual movie. Lemme know what you guys think! ;D