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Post by prymal on Mar 20, 2011 19:50:09 GMT -5
PHANTASM 4.5 : THE ICE CREAM CHRONICLES (CHAP 1-THE MORNING AFTER) Hope everyone enjoys! Again, any feedback (even Criticism) is appreciated!! Attachments:
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Post by prymal on Mar 21, 2011 19:07:41 GMT -5
Thanks for reading and the messages and comments! Keep it coming...
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Post by floyd on Mar 28, 2011 10:37:02 GMT -5
All the phans do about Phantasm is interesting
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Post by DustinM on Jun 7, 2011 0:14:14 GMT -5
Prymal, just realized that I'd read and commented on Chapter 2 of your story but not this first chapter. This is an excellent start. I can feel that you're setting up a larger story here and this feels like an exciting first step. Can't wait to get to the third chapter tomorrow. As for now, here are some brief reflections:
- I like very much that Reggie found Mike's journal from Phantasm IV. - A slight recommendation: Instead of switching between Mike and Michael, how about Mike and Tall Mike? - When you said that Mike might be "reaching for something," I had a glimmer of what it might be and was very much pleased at what it turned out to be. Really dig how you're leveling the playing field here with the toys! - The return of a familiar face is very much welcome and the manner at which you revive them quite good. Way to go! - Had to chuckle at how they say that Reggie has changed.
Why exactly is this called "The Morning After?" Does this story directly follow your unnumbered Ice Cream Chronicles that I commented on previously? Is that Chapter 0?
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Post by prymal on Jun 7, 2011 10:10:20 GMT -5
Hey Dustin, thank you very much! Always good to hear from you! Yes, this directly follows the unnumbered prologue. The reason why '0' had no number or 'prologue' written in the title, i didn't really think anyone would be interested. As it turned out, you Dustin were the first, and the reason why i continued on with 1-12! That is why if i do anymore Phan Fiction, i want to be a little more prepared, lol! I literally had no outline with this story, i sat down weekly in front of my Pc and wrote what came to mind. Which was way cool, i was influenced by several things that turned up in my story that wouldn't have been there, ie: The falling ash in several chapters? It came from me seeing ash falling from the Oakee Fanokee Swamp fires! There is a scene from Atlantis? There was a documentary on a search for Atlantis one night on tv as i was writing! Way cool, but WAAYY unorganized, LOL! I can see why professional writers are VERY prepared!
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