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Post by prymal on Apr 10, 2011 19:35:03 GMT -5
Phantasm 4.5: The Ice Cream Chronicles Chap.4-The Last Perfect Day Ok gang, here is the 2nd part of chap3 that i split, i just made it chap4 for continuity's sake! Enjoy... Attachments:
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Post by gopher in heat on Apr 13, 2011 8:30:56 GMT -5
Wow, you're really digging deep prymal! I can't believe how much great writing you've been doing. Keep it up!
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Post by prymal on Apr 13, 2011 9:32:51 GMT -5
Thanks Gopher, much appreciated! I am going to keep this thing to 10 or so chapters, i don't want anyone tiring over a very long period of months LOL!!
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Post by DustinM on Jun 17, 2011 3:57:11 GMT -5
Another first-rate chapter in a continually interesting story. Really like what you titled this chapter and how it really does apply to the events within. And just as you ended the last chapter with a cliffhanger that is yet unresolved, you give us ANOTHER cliffhanger that's just as tantalizing. Literally cannot wait to see what happens and how things will progress from here.
- I dig that Mike and Reggie are onto Kat and Rory being "familiar." And somehow, I can so very easily picture Rory sitting at the bar in his light blue suit, spouting that dialogue and "chuckling dryly" as Kat says "Count on it." - Okay, I'm following you with the difference between Liz and Jody and their sphere abilities and the limits of their physical forms. Kudos to you for figuring out the science of how this is going to work. - Nice to see Mike kidding around with Liz and Reggie - it's a side of him I thought all but lost following the events of the sequels. This is precisely why Stephen Romano's P5 script works so well - he manages, like you, to show other shades of Mike that we haven't seen in a long, long time. - OOoooOOOOooooOOh my God on the Gigi scene - Muahahahaha. This is too funny!' And I really laughed at "Not that it couldn't see in the dark, it was simply time to move on." I bet like hell it WAS time! - The return of dream sex! (laughing) Right on! - The bit with Rory's shadow was EXCELLENT and really had me going for a moment - until it really did get me! - And your closing line is so terrifically forboding.... very well written: "The last perfect day faded with the dying sun. Night was falling; a permanent darkness, and nothing would be ok again…ever."
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Post by prymal on Jun 17, 2011 20:39:49 GMT -5
Thanks Dustin! It's nice having my writing enjoyed. I had a lot of fun writing Ice Cream Chronicles. I am hammering out another story which would be unrelated and quiet different from this one, now just to get past the time issue to actually write it! Thanks again, i am VERY eager to see what you think on the next chapters!! -Prymal
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Post by scubasteve on Jul 7, 2011 1:48:34 GMT -5
Arg, I need to read this. My life's been turned upside down at the mo and haven't had the chance to read it yet. will do soon though. keep plugging away!
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